Fear Is the Distraction
Hey there Richsters,
In my most recent post I shared that I've been away from the blog some due to the fact that I'm now a mom of two, as well as our recent move. While the aforementioned things may be true, today it dawned on me that I've been getting in my own way. I know, you're probably thinking "duhhhhh Erica... we're all in control of our destinies, the only one who can stop you from being great is you," yada, yada, yada....
Admittedly, I've never really been the "planned" type. Up until becoming a mother I'd always prided myself on being a spontaneous person who was always down to "go with the flow," and was a steady pupil who'd proudly never graduated from the school of trial-and-error. After becoming a mom, the quote "go with the flow" was quickly replaced with "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Let me be honest: As a mother of multiple children, I'm still trying to master the art of planning ahead-- and that particular phrase is becoming a daily mantra/philosophy that I live by.
Having this in mind, I'm learning to structure my content, plan out my days, and map out the vision of the life that I'd like to be living (while leaving room for God's ultimately divine guidance of course). All this planning and structure has been great, and has given me peace of mind in many ways), but I've found that it has also left me terribly paralyzed with fear.
I'm a little embarrassed to say that this was made evident to me by my social media accounts. Though I know that it's not the end of the world; the numbers shown in my accounts were definitely a reflection of how I was (but, wasn't) showing up in the world.
I'd become so paranoid and obsessed with how others will perceive everything that I'd been so devoted and intentional about. In my obsession I was constantly asking myself: if I do this, will I be doing it right? Will it be pretty? How will it measure up to everything else? What's my voice? What's the value of my vision? Will anyone even care?
All of those questions, and not a single answer: Why? Because I wasn't taking charge and changing the situation.
As artists and creators, I'm sure a few of you reading this can relate to the constant internal dialogue. Don't worry-- you're not crazy, and there are plenty of us out there thinking the same thing.
Rather than moving, testing theories, and making mistakes (which has always been my method), I've just been sitting on my hands (and all this BOMB content) so scared that I'd be "doing it wrong". I've been so in my head, that I've definitely been creating... my own worst case scenario! No action, equates to no progress; and the only thing that could make the situation "wrong" was exactly what I was doing-- nothing.
When fear is present, there can be no outlet. It is simply a distraction from living out your dreams and a life of purpose.
Thank God for wisdom and the ability to have occasional moments of quiet and self-reflection (they're pretty hard to come by these days, lol).
My overthinking and inactivity ends today.
I look forward to sharing and releasing steady content over the coming months. Your feedback is more than welcome-- I'd love to hear what you think about it, as well as what you'd like to see on the blog. Oh, and if you've struggled with these, please comment below sharing some methods you've used to leave fear behind.
Until then, #LiveRi¢h and Happy Dream Chasing Mamas!