31 Turns Around the Sun
Hey there #LiveRi¢h fam!
Today is my 31st birthday. How perfect that it happens to fall on a scheduled blog day!
Last year I'd learned that I was pregnant with our 2nd child Jaiyce, about a week or so before my birthday. Needless to say, I wasn't able to turn up for my 30th in the ways that I'd originally hoped. Even then, I had a wonderfully quiet (and fun-filled!) day spent with my immediate family. You can read all about it here.
In thinking about my 30th year I took time to sit in the true blessing of having survived another year; considering people that I know who didn't live to see their 30s. I took time to appreciate being in the presence of each of my kids: laying in bed with them (yes, I stuffed myself into Arria's toddler bed), looking into their eyes, singing songs, stroking their cute little faces, listening to their laughs, and just soaking up how lucky I am to be their mom.
They truly have been my life's biggest blessing and greatest gift.
I'm not sure that I've ever really been afraid of death per se-- but I have always feared not living in the full potential of my life. I've been afraid of dying and not creating anything worth remembering, and just living a comfortably "ordinary" existence. After I became a mother that changed. I created and birthed two new souls into existence. So that conversation of me "not doing anything worth remembering" has been chucked out the window.
Now, my greatest fear is not being there for my kids. God forbid, some random and tragic incident should take me from them early; that they would grow up not knowing who I am, that they won't be able to experience how much I love them-- or that I won't be here to watch them grow into the amazingly talented and kind adults that I believe they will become. I fear things like: not seeing them on their graduation day, not meeting their future spouses and seeing them get married; Or not being around to witness the birth of my own grandchildren (with their father by my side). You know, the way most people envision growing old-- with all the friends and family still in-tact.
I know it's probably an irrational fear since it's nothing that I can control, and Lord willing God will see this vision through to perfection. But it's in moments like this, that stillness helps me remember to consider and re-evaluate what's most important and what "living rich" really means. So for now, all I can do is appreciate the time that I have with them, soak in every second as they grow, and celebrate every year that I am still here. For this I'm grateful.
My 30th year was a great one (with some annoyingly unexpected family revelations), but with a lot of blessings and prayers answered as well-- many of which I've shared with you here on the blog. Since I played it cool last year, it's kind of mandatory that I kick things up a notch this year! I may be a mom to yet another child, but the celebration of life and fun doesn't end with kid number two! So with that said, I plan on putting together a little fiesta later in the month to celebrate the past 365 days of life. If you're interested in attending make sure to sign up for my mailing list so you can stay in the know.
At the beginning of 2018 I claimed this as my year of MORE: More fun, more life, more joy, more love, and everything in-between. God is working out the details on delivering all the goodness I've envisioned (and then some) so I'm really just happy to be here experiencing his workings in my everyday life. I looking forward to seeing what God has in store for 31, and sharing it with all of you!
Until the next time, #LiveRi¢h and Happy Dream Chasing!
ps: I plan on being this guy on party day. It's been a while since I've had quite THIS much fun. :-D