"Daddy Duty" Isn't Just About the Kids
...it's also about helping mommy live in purpose.
Hey there Live Rich Fam,
I’m sure many of you can agree that it’s really hard to be a #LiveRichMommy without the support of a Live Rich Daddy (and a tribe). There is so much that we as women are capable of doing, but we can’t even begin to make a dent in those things without the full hands-on support of our children’s fathers. Thankfully, I have a partner who does his part in being an awesome dad. More importantly my husband, Nick, does an excellent job of being my friend first-- and that comes with all the real friend “ish”. We go through the moods where we don’t want to talk about feelings and whatnot, but on the other side of that there is always more love and understanding. I’m grateful for the fact that he listens though he may not always see (or agree with) where I’m coming from. He makes an effort in all of the ways that he can to make life easier for all of us. He has an openminded-ness that has inspired me to be more open-minded as well. And as if all that weren’t enough, he’s sexy AF. (Yes, I’m a total #lustbucket when it comes to my husband… and have been for going on 13 years). Lol
I came across these insta-stories from Myleik Teele about how kids don’t affect women’s careers, men do. I definitely see where she is coming from. Parenthood is tough, but motherhood can be exceptionally hard. Many of us care for our children at our own sacrifice, parenting at the expense of all our time, our dreams, our career aspirations, etc. While motherhood is definitely worth it, the IG stories make some great points that I have to agree with. In my experience, I've found that it doesn't have so much to do with the father's intentions, so much as how men are conditioned to interact with fatherhood-- and how we as women are expected to be within our roles as mothers. We subconsciously play right into it. Mother's are expected to juggle more, and men help when they are called on or asked to. It's the cycle that we've learned, and it's the one we unknowingly teach our children. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it's a mentality that's rooted from humanity's hunter-gatherer days.
After being a stay-at-home mom for over a year I had to take stock of how I felt about myself living with that title. When asked about my occupation I’d say, "I'm JUST a stay at home mom." As though being a mom was a job that didn’t carry any weight; when in all actuality it carries the most weight of ANY job/title I’ve ever had (and probably will ever have) in my life.
Raising our minis to be kind, thoughtful, compassionate, creative, smart, and fearless human beings-- while also making sure I keep the house in order, the constant cleaning up and feeding of kids, maintaining my sanity and keeping my own projects, dreams and ambitions alive was been no easy feat. It's hard. Mom hours are long, and it’s the only “job that is truly 24/7 365… for forever. Lol The pay is non-existent. And there is no applause.
At one point I realized that I was doing a lot, and starting to feel a certain type of way. Once I finally sharing my feelings with my husband and he shared his thoughts, I realized I’d never asked for help so he assumed everything was great. It was like a light went off. It was so true. How could I be mad when I was acting like I was good with juggling everything. The even better question was: Why did I feel like I HAD to be good with doing everything by myself? Who sold me that belief of a lie? It was actually that line of thinking that took this blog from being a place where I simply posted nice pictures and memories, to feeling as though I had something to say and a brand message worth sharing.
It goes beyond simply being a "nice thing" to do.
Supporting moms in their efforts to find and live in purpose directly impacts how our children will chose to live their lives.
A mom choosing to pursue her passion projects let's her kids know that their ideas matter and can create change; it increases entrepreneurial endeavors/drive, impacts creative drive and thinking (which ultimately leads to innovation), and so much more. For mother's of little girls this lesson is priceless because it promotes independence-- while also teaching them early that the world will give them as much as they are willing ask for. ...And for little boys, this lesson teaches them that parenthood, marriage (and relationships in general) are founded in partnership, not ownership. No one person in a partnership is more important than the other or more deserving of living a purposefully fulfilled life, and especially not based on gender. Both parties commit in the act of creating the family, so both parties must equally be responsible for the tasks (and responsibilities) required to maintain it. Now don't get me wrong, the equality in the roles of responsibility may look different from home-to-home; but the most important thing is that a discussion is had about what the roles of the partnership look like, so no party feels as though it's being disadvantaged.
Please know that I'm not writing all of this to bash men, but rather to open up a dialogue. So for all of you who may be feeling overwhelmed and have yet to ask for help (whether man or woman)-- speak up. Your feelings are valid, and your career/dreams/ambitions are still important and worth pursuing. Shout out to all the Live Rich Daddies out there who not only make sure their kids are good; but also make sure that their ladies don’t become a shadow of themselves because of the transition into parenthood. Lastly, for all the single moms (and dads) I pray that God continues to bless you. I pray that He gives you more strength, patience, and all of the support that you need in raising your little miracles-- as you also grow and glow in your passion and purpose.
Comment below and let me know your thoughts on the topic. If you feel so inclined, I would also love to hear about your experiences as working moms and managing your home dynamics!
Until the next time, #LiveRich and Happy Dream Chasing!